Have a crisis plan and put it into action. This is to think about what you would do if the violence escalates or you want to leave. If it is safe enough, collect together relevant documents and the other things listed below and hide them. If you need to leave in a hurry you will know where they are. Forming a crisis plan includes the points below:

1. Check out sources of support and places you can escape to, e.g., relatives, friends and refuge.
   
   
2. Have a list of telephone numbers ready - police, refuge, etc. You can keep these on a small piece of paper and hide it.
   
   
3. Find somewhere to quickly and easily use a phone. Get a mobile or confide in a friend or neighbour. Make sure that you know where the nearest or safest phone boxes are.
   
   
4. Take all legal and financial papers, e.g. birth certificates, benefit books, passports. Make sure that you know where they are in advance.
   
   
5. If you decide in advance when you are leaving, try to save a little money for taxi or train fares.
   
   
6. Take spare sets of clothing for yourself and the children.
   
   
7. Take keys for the house.
   
   
8. Take any medicines you or the children may need.
   
   
9. Take favourite toys or personal possessions with sentimental value. Take all children with you.
   
   
10. As you are leaving, talk to the children. Explain what is happening. They are probably aware of the abuse anyway.
    
    
11. It is safer to leave when your partner is not around. Women are most at risk from a serious attack when they are trying to leave a relationship.
    
    
12. Be aware that he may try to follow you or get a friend to follow you.
    
    
13. If you are going to a refuge, do not tell people where it is. He may try to get information from them and if he finds it you will have to move on.
    
    
14. If he is present when you are leaving and becomes aggressive or violent, try to call the police. They can make sure that you leave in safety and are not followed.

BUT REMEMBER - only hide documents, etc. if it is safe enough for you and your children. Be aware that if he suspects that you are trying to leave he may become aggressive.

All papers and belongings can be replaced and refuge workers are used to getting copies of documents. The refuge worker will help you apply for a Community Care Grant to replace lost clothing. This is a grant from the Government and does not have to be paid back.

It's hard to leave your things behind, but your safety is more important.

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