What is a Refuge?

It is a type of hostel for women who have fled their home due to domestic violence. There are usually between 4 and 8 families in a house. Our house is large and houses 8 families. In our refuge, women share a bedroom with their children and have a bathroom and kitchen that they share with one other family. There is a lounge, laundry room, a big garden with play equipment and a playroom that everyone shares.

Our refuge is large, light, airy and well maintained - really homely. The bedrooms are well fitted out with built in cupboards, sinks and fridges. All the refuges that we have visited have been homely and inviting and feel very safe.

All refuges are different and some even have self-contained flats; it depends on the size of the house.

We have safety equipment, such as security lights and CCTV, for the protection of the residents and staff.

Who can go to a Refuge?

Any woman who is suffering from domestic violence and feels that it is unsafe to stay in her home. You don't necessarily have to be living with your partner.

The main criterion is that you want to go to a refuge and agree to follow certain safety rules, like not telling anyone, especially men, where the refuge is. Refuge life is not for everyone, as some people find it too restricting, but the aim is to keep the refuge as safe of possible.

What sort of women come to a refuge?

In our refuge there are all sorts of women from all sorts of backgrounds, basically any woman who feels that she needs safety. Some refuges are culturally specific and if you feel that you would prefer this then you can request it when calling Refuge or WAFE. There are refuges for Asian women, Afro-Caribbean women, Irish women, Latin-American women and more. LWA is a generic refuge, which means that we will take any woman suffering from domestic violence, regardless of race or religion.

Why do women need to leave home?

Often it can get to the stage where a woman's life is in danger - they are terrified. Or it can be that a woman feels she is losing control and she can't take it any more - she wants to get her life back.

Some women say "I've only been verbally abused", but we include that as domestic violence because it can be used as a means of control, often by using threats or by wearing down a woman's self-esteem. There are many types of abuse, not just physical. There is emotional (name calling etc), financial (withholding money), sexual (rape and sexual assault) and mental abuse.

We believe that all types of abuse are wrong and will accept a woman with any of the above after checking that she is suitable.

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Why do women need refuges?

They need another option; maybe they can't stay with friends or family and it would take too long to move house and would be unsafe. When a woman has got to the stage where she is leaving her partner, she may be leaving everything behind and starting from scratch. In the refuge there are staff there from Monday to Saturday to support and help a woman with whatever she needs.

How long can you stay?

Initially we give a Licence Agreement for 6 months and it can be extended for up to a year if necessary. If a woman makes a serious breech of the safety rules we may have to evict her, although we will accompany her to a homeless persons unit (HPU) to make sure that she gets some temporary accommodation and is safe. If a woman is found by her partner, we will try to move her to another refuge.

What happens to women when they leave the hostel?

We assist in getting them re-housed, usually with a local authority or housing association in the area of their choice. Normally they will go to temporary accommodation, a house or flat depending on the size of the family. When a family leaves it can be a daunting time for them, so we offer 6 months outreach support to make sure that they have everything they need in place.

How could I get into a refuge?

By calling Refuge 24hr Crisis Line or WAFE (see Contacts Page for relevant telephone numbers).

The helpline will then call a refuge on your behalf and give them your safe number - usually a mobile or a friend's number. The refuge worker would then call you and talk through the referral - we have to check that you understand the safety rules and need to go over anything that may compromise you or the refuge's safety, for example, your partner may have a relative or friends nearby or he may use other local services where you could be spotted and followed. If we feel that it would be too dangerous we would refer back to the helpline and they would search for another refuge that would be safer for you. Sometimes the whole process takes as little as an hour and you could be in a refuge within a day.

Refuge space is precious and it may take a while for the helpline to find you a suitable space. While you are waiting you should take the given precautions on the Safety Tips page or try to stay with a friend or relative if it is safe enough for you. A refuge space can usually be found within about a week, but you may have to be flexible as to where it will be.

What happens if a woman wants to return to her partner?

That is her decision and we would never put pressure on a woman to leave her partner. That would be taking away her power and we are all about giving power back to women. We would hope that a woman would be respectful if she returns to her partner by not putting the refuge in danger by getting him to collect her, etc. A woman has to be ready to leave, because it's tough, but when you are free and safe it's worth it.
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